Too . . . There . . .

Dear World -

Today I would like to take a moment to discuss two groups of words: the "to's" and the "there's". If that is kind of confusing I will break it down further into teams:

The Bluebirds: to, too and two.

The Irons: there, their and they're.

Now, I am not a scholar. I have not written any dissertations, my favorite book  is Goodnight Moon and I am not good at building things. Having said that, I am somewhat familiar with the laws and regulations regarding grammar and words and things . . . and thought I'd take a moment to delve into a little matter which people seem to get confused more often than not. Folks can't seem to use the correct form of "to" and "there" when writing. I find these words important in our language and deserve more respect. As such, I thought I'd create a guideline for the appropriate ways to use these two teams of words.

Following are correct and in correct ways of using these words.

THE BLUEBIRDS -

To:

Good Way: "I am heading to the east side to get my balls waxed."

Bad Way: "I have been a cutter for to years now."

Too:

Good Way: "That chick has eaten way too many donuts in her day, but I'd still hit it."

Bad Way: "The nice priest at church told me not too say anything about us playing hide the dart."

Two:

Good Way: "Uncle Dan hit mom in the head two times with a broken bottle."

Bad Way: "Anna Nicole took way two many drugs for lunch that day. She dead."

THE IRONS:

There:

Good Way: "I put the gag ball over there."

Bad Way: "Every time I go over to there house, I wake up with a sore fanny."

Their:

Good Way: "At least their trailer has heat."

Bad Way: "I think she went over their to pay her pimp."

They're:

Bad Way: "They're the nicest couple. I hardly noticed his wooden leg and lazy eye."

Good Way: "I think they're is only one good way to steal his kidney."

Please use this source for reference at any point.

GO WORLD!!!

Tyler Britain Kirk I