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Hi World. Thanks for the rash. Where is my gun?

I think I might actually have a point to make today . . . bare with me. I am writing this dumb thing today on an electronic computing machine. I am listening to some fucking ROCKING jams on my electronic tape player. I am getting text messages from my parole officer on my super fast electronic cell phone thing. Plus, I watch all of my old Kids Incorporated videos on a miniature electronic movie theater.

So. The other night I was downtown at a party with people who pretend to be my friends. It got late and I needed to make the trek back to Lincoln Park from Wicker Park. Being that I was tired from it all, I decided to forego the traditional February car jack and opted to take a taxi cab. I flag down a cab and get in the car.  Well, I tried to get in the front and sit extra close to the driver on the bench seat just to make things spicy, but he insisted I get in the back, or . . . no ride. I complied. We get all the way back to my my area and I tell him to drop me off at the corner near my hovel. He told me the fare and when I gave him a credit card his head spun around and he went into a fiery temper tantrum. He didn't want to take my card. Here is a summary of the transcript:

Driver: "Eleven twenty five."

Tyler Guy: "OK. Here you go." (hand him PLATINUM Visa Debit Card)

Driver: "No. No. What? No, you got to pay cash."

Tyler Guy: "What? Why?"

Driver: "Cash only."

Tyler Guy: "But there is a credit card machine right there." (I point to the card machine thing in the back seat, convenient for passenger use)

Driver: "Cash only. Cash only. No card."

Tyler Guy: "Well, I don't have cash. You wanna take my card or not."

Driver: "Mucky Blangada Vinceteo a Mucky Flipourin---Ivan Drago." (foreign expletives, lots of finger pointing and wild saliva spitting)

Tyler Guy: "I don't know what you just said, sir. But I don't want any trouble. Stay here and I'll ATM at this 7-11."

Driver: "Yes. Go."

So, I go into the 7-11 and ATM 20 bucks - then I buy a Slim Jim and head to the cashier to pay. As I am completing the transaction with the nice 7-11 man, I decide to get creative with my change. I told the story of what was happening and the man was happy to help.

As I return to the cab, I stand outside and hand the driver a bag of money. $11.25 in this manner.

14 rolls of pennies.

12 quarters.

10 dimes. 

5 nickels.

Driver: "Fuck you you fucking prick fucking boy."

Tyler Guy: "Cool man. Keep the change. Oh wait! It's all change. I'll walk from here."

My Point? It's an electronic world. Get with it or jingle. 

THE END.

Love Always, 

Tyler