Friday, May 15, 2009

Work

I have been bad about the blogging and things lately. The Swine Flu came in with no mercy and turned everything upside down. Plus my polo mallet is broken and my horse has the runs.

I had a dream last night. 

THE END

I wrote that prematurely. I had a dream last night. It was a dry dream with very little sheet thrashing and only light sweating. You know when you have one of those random dreams out of nowhere that stars someone that you haven't seen of or heard from in years and years? Sometimes like since elementary school? They just pop in there for no reason at all and it makes no sense because the only time you ever spent with that person was when you were both crammed into a tiny, filthy, itchy burlap sack in your Bugle Boy jeans and turtle beck on a 101 degree day for the potato sack race at Field Day in the 5th grade. Josh Kirby, are you reading this?

That's happened to me. But that is not what my dream was about last night. It was a flashback to my days working at the great Prestonwood Mall in Dallas, TX, at a horrid little place run by a creepy man from Jersey who wore tight pants called Everything Yogurt. So naturally, this made me recall some of my crappy jobs growing up. Bored? Click out now.

Sports Fantasy: Valley View Mall, Dallas - sold hats, jerseys and sportswear to gangsters and creeps at a dark, dingy mall Dallas. Cross Colors was very popular during this period.

Journeys Shoes: Valley View Mall, Dallas - sold Doc Marten's to young people who have lots of piercings and hate their parents. 

Everything Yogurt: Prestonwood Mall, Dallas - sold yogurt and unrefrigerated, outdated dairy products in a food court at the best mall ever that is now a fucking Wal-Mart. Got fired for grabbing a handful of gummi bears out of the container with my dirty hands.

Greenwood Hills Pool Lifeguard, Richardson, TX - slathered on SPF 250 and watched as hoards of youngsters filled the pool with their urine.

Adair Baseball World: Addison, TX - shoveled baseballs in exchange for free tokens to the batting cages. Paid in candy.

Nick's Baseball Cards: Richardson, TX - shoved into a small, cramped, hot, humid backroom to sort through thousands of baseball cards and form sets. Paid in free cards and Schlotzky's sandwiches.

Campisi's Pizza, Richardson, TX - delivered pizzas all over north Dallas in a stiffling, jet black Chevy Blazer with black interior and no working AC. The radio worked sometimes and a mix tape with the likes of Ace of Base and Paperboy was stuck in the tape deck.

Glenneagles Country Club, Plano, TX - put clubs on carts at 4:30am, 5 days a week during my summer vacation. Paid in free golf and daily belittling by snobby, judgmental, rich, lazy Plano jackasses. Did I ever rummage through their bags? Maybe.

Valet Parker Guy, Dallas - parked cars and helped myself to loose change out of ashtrays.

Zoo-Kini's, Lubbock, TX - waited tables and allowed everyone I knew to eat free whenever they pleased. The charge for 6 friends what would have been a tab of $80 in food? One Iced Tea . . . $1.25. Often times I would still get stiffed, by my friends.

Black Eyed Pea, Lubbock, TX - I was a host. And I had to wear a tie. 

There are more, but I'm late for my shift at Gadzooks.

"Work builds character." - Stuart C. Kirk

YAY WORK!

Tyler