Sales

From time to time I get out of the office and do my writing and concepting at Starbucks or take it to the beauty parlor and sit under the big helmet after I get my hair braided. I think it is funny that Starbucks has become the unofficial place for salesguys and salesgals to gather and plot together their plans to make fortunes. It is fantastic people watching and eavesdropping - just take out the iPod machine and put the ear buddies into your ears and tune in. I can take it for minutes, maybe hours. I like hearing a salesguy call being made and the details scribbled out on a the back of the sports section. And just so it's known, I am not ragging on people in sales. I have lots and lots of friends in sales and I couldn't do it. First, I don't like phones which is grounds for an immediate conflict of interest. From what I know it is pretty essential to be a good phone person to be a good sales person. And I think you have to have tough skin and be a self-starter . . . two other things I lack. In addition, the whole part about being passionate about what you're slingin' . . . so, for instance, selling industrial plumbing supplies would warrant another roadblock for me. I don't think I would get a pants tent about selling copper wire or awnings either. Leather goods is a different story. 

So, aside from these things and other problems like quotas, goals, quarters and productivity reports and things, being a selling man isn't in my cards. Having said that, I still think it is funny to recall the conversations I have overheard here and there. Just this morning there was a girl "recruiting" a potential new hire and getting her all jazzed up about the infinite possibilities that come with selling time shares. 

Here are a few snippets from the convo. Although millions are being made, there is a hint of exaggeration. See if you can point out the misleading takes:

- "people hear timeshare and immediately lean toward yes. It's a fact. Like air."

- "no health insurance but with all the money you'll be making, you can buy your own hospital!"

- "sometimes I wear pant suits. Sometimes I don't, like if I am at home in my pajamas."

- "I won a trip to Canada but used the money to fix my bumper."

- "my goal is to sell one a day. Ever seen The Secret?"

- "wait, let me take this. "Well shithead, you were asleep when I left.""

- "I've got my eye on a Benz. Right now? A Dodge Neon."

- "It's gonna be a banner year! Good economy or bad, banner. Watch The Secret."

- "You can find leads anywhere. Paper. Magazine. That man right there, lead."

- "The Excalibur. Sometimes Circus Circus."

- "Just split it down the middle."

Not very bright.

GO WORLD!

Tyler