usman

It is snowing here today. I love the snow. Plus I found my iPod, the one I didn't know I had lost. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.

Moving along . . . from time to time I get these silly little emails from some A-hole in Africa or somewhere who tries his or her best to solicit money by presenting some kind of elaborate, or in this case not elaborate, scheme. I don't know what kind of person - a person who has enough brain power to open a bank account - would fall for this kind of plop. But, according to a recent Dateline NBC investigation, there are many people who do fall for online money transfer parties and schemes. If this applies to you, go read a Highlights magazine

When I get these emails I usually delete them or just reply with something short and sweet like "hold me now". But sometimes I like to toy with them a bit. I had one guy going for a good 6 months last year . . . I have a blog somewhere about it and will try to dust it off and post it, complete with email exchanges. He was fun - I dangled that carrot in front of him for months and months. But much to his chagrin, I always left out a single digit or something to which he was so so so close to getting the transaction going, but never seemed to materialize. This kept our interaction alive and our relationship *spicy*. I actually got to know this dirtbag pretty well. He told me all about his fake kids and pretend college degree (ATM Corps of Cadets???), and I told him about my intimacy problems, the restraining order and multiple bouts with Scurvy. Then, just when we were about to do some real business, I kindly replied, "I changed my mind." He didn't like this. He threatened me and called me the X-rated version of a Banana Head.

So, I got another one of these this morning. And in light of the circus that is Illinois politics and in honor of our respected Governor and his dome, I went a different route. Below you will find our email transactions. 

Tyler

---------------------------------------------------

Hi usman. Thanks for the note. That's weird, I am in fact a "U.S. Man", and your name is usman. Cool. Why don't you capitalize your name? Weird.

I read your note and am interested. Very interested. I like money. I am sorry to hear about the guy who left the money and died and is all dead and stuff. Did he die of a disease or in a crash? Stinky. 

So anyway, please give me more information on how to get the ball rolling. I have filled out your form below. I am in and out of the office these days tending to other business and selling refurbished office furniture, so getting in touch might take a few tries. BUT PLEASE, be persistent. I get a lot of messages on a daily basis, so just call and call.

Looking forward to it,

Rod Blagojevich

-----------------------------------------------------------

From Mr usman salif

Bill and Exchange Manager

Bank of Africa (B.O.A.)a

Ouagadougou Burkina Faso.

West Africa.

Sorry to distract your attention, I am Mr. usman salif bill and exchange manager in the bank of Africa Burkina Faso.

In my department, I discovered the deposited fund amounted 15m United Stated Dollars owned by a disease customer who died in the air crash with his entire family.

Are you capable of assisting me, by providing your account information where this seat will lodge in your favor?

I will give you 30% of this fund as soon as this fun hits your account and I will visit you in your country for the shearing. Please this is very confidential.

If you are interested, please forward me the below informations'.

Your Name: Rod Blagojevich

Your Phone Number: 312-814-5220

Your Fax: 312-814-4862

Your Age: 47

Your Occupation: Governor

Your Address: Here is my Chicago office: James R. Thompson Center - 100 W. Randolph, 5-20. Chicago, IL 60601

Your Country: USA

Yours Faithfully,

Mr. usman Salif